Marriage and polygami

Source: Ya Allah, I do not Want to Own!
by : (Burhan work Sodiq)

The phenomenon of increasing number of women who delayed marriage (spinster) into one frightening case now, most of the teeny-teeny threatening our Islamic community, even in the whole world. Here let us listen to one of their cries:

Al-Usrah Magazine edition 1420 80 Dzulqa'dah H wrote screams a spinster from Medina Munawaroh, "At first I really hesitated before writing to you because of fear of women because I know that they will say that I was already crazy, or possessed. However, the reality that I experienced and also experienced by large numbers of older virgins, that no one knows it, making me the courage. I will write my story briefly.

When I was started approximately 20 years, I was like any other girl dreams of a young man who multazim and noble. My first build thinking and expectations; how we will live and how we educate our children ... and .. and ...

I was one of the most combat ta'adud (polygamy). Only just heard people say to me, "So and so married again the second", without realizing I pray that he is wretched. I said, "If I was the first wife-who-must have been I would dump him, as he had dumped me '. I often discuss with my brother and sometimes with my uncle about the problem ta'addud. They try so that I would receive ta'addud, while I remain stubbornly refused to accept shariah ta'addud. I told them, 'Impossible other women will be together with me to accompany my husband. " Sometimes I was the cause of problems-problems between husband and wife because he wanted to forge his first wife; I menghasutnya so she fought to her husband.

Anyway, the day went by while I'm still waiting for my dream boy. I'm waiting ... but he has not come and I still kept waiting. Nearly 30 years I was on hold. It has been over 30 years ... oh divine, what should I do? Do I have to go out to look for the groom? I can not afford, people will say this woman has no shame. So, what will I do? Nothing I can do, apart from waiting.
On a day when I was sitting, I heard one of the women said, 'Fulanah become an old maid. " I said to myself, "Poor Fulanah become an old maid," but ... fulanah which meant it was me. O divine! Indeed it is my name ... I've become an old maid. However I describe it to you, you will not be able to feel it. I am faced with a reality as a spinster. I started repeating the calculations-calculations, what I do?



Time passed, days after another, and I want to scream. I want a husband, a man where I take shelter under the shade, to help resolve problems ... My brother-problemaku that men do not melalaikanku one bit, but he is not like a husband. I want to live, wanted to give birth, and enjoy life. However, I can not say these words to men. They'll say, "This woman is not ashamed." There's nothing I can do other than silence. I laugh ... but not from my heart. Do you want me laugh, hold my hand while embers? I am not able ...

One day, most big brother came to me and said, "Today has come the bride and groom, but I reject it ..." Without being felt I said, 'Why are you doing? It should not be! "He said to me," Because he wanted you for a second wife, and I know you really fight ta'addud (polygamy). " I almost screamed at him, "Why do not you agree?" I am willing to be the wife of the second, or third, or fourth ... Both my hands in the fire. I agree, yes I used to fight ta'addud, now accept it. My brother said, "It's too late"

Now I know the wisdom in ta'addud. The wisdom of this has made me accept, what about the wisdom of the other lessons? O Allaah, forgive my sins. Indeed, I first do not know. These words I addressed to men, "Berta'addud-lah, nikahilah one, two, three, or four capable and fair terms. I remind you

with his words, "... So get marriage for yourselves what is good for you from a woman, two, or three, or four, so if you're afraid of not able to be fair, the one ..." save us. We are human beings like you, feel the pain as well. Cover us, have mercy on us. "

And the following words I addressed to my sister who had married Muslim women, "great full thanks favors this because you do not feel the heat of the fire to be an old maid. I hope you do not get angry if your husband wanted to marry again with another woman. Do not stop, but encourage her. I know that this is very heavy on you. However, the Expect reward from Allah. Look at the situation suadarimu who become spinsters, women who divorced, and widows, who will protect them? Suppose he is your sister, you will definitely get a huge reward with patience "

You may say to me, "There will come a bachelor who would marry her." I say unto you, "Look at the population census. Indeed the number of women more than men. If any man married to one woman, surely many of us women who become spinsters. Do not just think of yourself only. However, think also your sister. Suppose you are in a position ".


You might also say, "All that is not important to me, the important thing my husband did not marry again." I say unto you, "Hands in the water not like a hand in the fire. This might occur. If your husband remarried with another woman, know that this world is transitory, the eternal akhiratlah. Do not be selfish, and do not cover the sisters of these blessings. It will not be perfect faith in someone that he loves for his brother what he loves for himself ".

Note:
I had ever read several times for this article, its very wisdom for us to share our beloved with other by polygami. As Al-Quran say it legalized but you must think at first.
Are you really need it? or are you have been ready for polygami..?? or you just make it break up by your act. So if you wanna have polygami prepare your self at first your attitude, soul, religion faith and etc...